♥ DREAM BIG DREAMS ♥

whatevercrapnonsense.bs

Just keep running , just keep running , just keep running , just keep running ...

I just want to keep running , not to run away but to reach for what i want .

Sometimes , i rather choose to believe in coincidence

It's amazing how people can change . It is amazing .

I am aware of the things surrounding me , but i choose to ignore .
Even if it is an excrutiating situation

I would have given in if i see your persistance

English , i perceive is a beautiful thing
Appreciate English
I used to detest English
But not anymore
Because English works wonder .

I don't have anything to ask for . Even so , i can't .

New Year Resolution

Improve on my English

As i was saying ..

28/12

L4d2 with friends . Finally get to complete the damn map after several attempts.
School for co camp which is as usual , consistently the same old routine .
So , i can't sleep for the night because i was thinking of the amount of days i'm left with .
I don't comprehend why i must think of that which would further exacerbate my already melancholic temperament .

29/12

Badminton with the 4/9 gang and eugene . Amirah wanted to sleep more ... pig
After that , a sudden surge of adrenaline overwhelmed me .
So , i went out to run 2.4km outside the school .
Then , i went back the to the hall and rest while some continued to hit the shuttlecocks when it comes to them .
After that , i ran 10 rounds outside the school hall ! This isn't ludicrous , i'm maintaining a healthy lifestyle .

Lunch with them and back to school to help in the preparations of the water bomb activities . I want to have nothing to do with it , i mean i don't want to get wet .
But somehow i did . I was appalled because i was partially wet and i want to meet my friends .
So , i just drape the jacket over and went to find Geri and Shugee @Starbuck
We manage to catch up with each other for a while but time was scarce ! I got to buy cockles and then run back all the way to school . I really ran , because the sky threaten to pour , at any moment .

I was so fatigued after that . Imagine running from jp to school and the 10 rounds around the hall , 2.4km outside the school and running around to hit the shuttlecocks . Lethargy was an absolute sight . In addition , i know i must have stink a lot . I sweat so much during different period of the day . Very "lemah" la i tell you .

Wenxuan and I did the dirty job of washing the cockles . We both don't do this at home before and yes i was literally "raping" the cockles .

I don't want to talk about CO because i don't like to talk about CO .

30/12

Cab back home with wenxuan . Then i hopped onto my bed straight away because i miss hugging my bolster la and i sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep till 1 .
Simei for dental appointment later . My braces is exactly one year old already .
WHY DO TIME PASSES SO QUICKLY !
I sibei reluctant la

Met up with amirah zaylinn . Talked and talk and ya talk about zay's myanmar girlfriend .
L4D2 with amirah eugene zhenxin
Going CO camp now .
At least i have a life today
Bye
=)

28/12 - slept in school but i can't sleep . Am i contradicting or what . I really can't sleep , just thinking of stuffs that hinders my beauty sleep

29/12 - badminton later with 4/9 gang, ami eugene .
Update when i get back .

Depression la , i can't insert anymore proper english .
I cannot believe this
This is just deliberately ridiculous ,consciously unaware .. I DON'T KNOW .
I SWEAR THAT I REALLY WANT TO SWEAR.
This is not me at all .
Pathetic

Why does she have to complain at
every single thing i do
Why can't she comprehend what i need
Why must she nag at me at
every single thing i do
Why must she compare my intellectual
to other smart adolescence
Everyday , i am haunted by her deliberate incessant naggings
Why can't she perceive that this is part of a teenage life

Why can't i have a heart-warming family
Who understands me
Who understands my needs

I know they gave me constant care and concern
But why are they so "out-dated"
I wish they knew the reality of a teenage life .

It induce the jealousy in me
when i see mother and daughter clicking so well
when i see siblings so bonded together
sharing even ludicrous stories together
when i see father has a ridiculously sense of humour
I wish

Yes , i get mostly what i want
Just a "Please"
they will , after much deliberation
swipe the card , and get it for me
I ain't any typical spoiled kid
because i don't own high-end materialism

Some might be envious that i've such good parents
that purchases what i want
Don't be
because i don't feel contented at all

Now you understand my misery
Now you understand why i have been complaining
that i want to go out even if i'm alone
Because my presence at home
will give my mother a chance to scream at me
making her hair all white
I don't want that

I wish someone could lend me their shoulder
so that i get to share my sorrow

You won't believe i actually cried .

Just at 1am , i stared out of my window .
My sentiment were being likened to the rain , pouring incessantly .
I looked up and admire the stars
Two of which are the brightest
One of which was flickering ceaselessly
It seems to be mocking at my misery
And it exacerbated my emotions
Another of which was just shining brightly
It seems to sympathize me
As i smiled , with a sense of relief

I actually talked to the stars
But i'm perfectly fine
Just facing a tormenting situation

This afternoon it didn't rain yet .
But after i played my piano - a dolce yet lacrimoso song
The sky plunged into partial darkness
Threatening to overwhelm my vexation
Because i could not go out !
Fuck you mother nature
Opps.

And now , the rain ceased .
The sun revealed a gleam of hope
telling me " you can go out now "
But i couldn't
I don't want to be an individual
I'm petrified of being alone

xoxo

Why does it always rain when i'm planning to go out .
WHY
Can anyone explain this stupid thesis
It was a perfectly fine weather , this delights me .
Then , it was an imperfectly stupid weather . This appalls me
I LEAD A MEANINGLESS LIFE
GOODBYE

A vocabulary of vulgarities are at the tip of my tougue .

tsk.

My mother nags at me . My father's overseas . My brothers don't care about me . My friends are busy .

Ok la , just let me be sarcastic and complain .

I go do A.math now . Because i have nothing to do .
And i know i'll definitely fail my A.math in O level .
THIS IS PERFECTLY FINE
I ain't no genius .

Forlorn

Again , the dull monotonous rain matched my mood . =) fake smile

Currently listening to Final Fantasy X "Besaid Island"

What do i get for Christmas ?
$200 from dad .
I don't find christmas significant .
It appalls me that everyone can let down their hair and enjoy such a joyous occasion .
This induce the jealousy in me .
The depth of my happiness is bottomless now .
And the stupid weather hinders me from getting my boots .
Yes , the dull monotonous rain matched my mood .

I chance upon Doc.Martens Website and saw this boots . LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT la .
I want to get this , and i mean tomorrow ! Which means another prolonged monotonous mundane train ride ...

I don't why i'm such a pig when the tenth times alarm clock was a failure to wake me up at 10 . Wanted to hit the gym at 11 and i woke up at 1 . Decided to give it a miss . Pig
Anyway , the highlight of the day was i went to town , alone SHOPPING . I finally get to see her after a year , yes Geri Pang ! Gosh , i miss her . It was a delight definitely . We didn't get to spend time together because she is busy working and her boss caught her talking to me . Hahahahaaa , maybe next time we'll meet again ! Forever 21 then and spent an exact hundred bucks. Cool

After that , i cabbed all the way back to safra . Played pool with amirah pohchong zhenxin eugene . We paired up and play and i goaled 2 black ones ! Nah , it was just sheer luck . Damn the scores were a tie . L4d next , we cleared the map but it was a misfortune Ami and eugene and I died while apparently some unknown escaped . Stupid lo

Oh , that remoteness in the train . That emptiness was soon filling me with such an intense sorrow that could encourage tears from escaping from my eyes . Why should i even be so . It was my choice , what else can i do . Why am i so hard to please , i wonder . Even I can't seems to decipher what i want , can't even perceive that i actually value that , can't even apprehend that appreciation . Why am i so hard to please , i wonder , yet again . What is so compelling that could induce such despondency in me .

Was it the 26 days i'm left with ? Maybe it was because i have lesser time to spend with everyone . I really dread a brand new day . But the clock 's ticking every minute every second indicating the departure . So long yet so fast . Paradox.

Sweetness in melancholy
Effortless yet perplexing
Convinced , however indecisive
Imminent but implausible
Anticipation although uninteresting
Paradoxical.

It was random , i love to contradict myself . Though those words are just anyhow anyhow forced in one .

Maybe for the remaining days , i should spent my time wisely . My life could not possibly revolves about shopping and pool and l4d . If so , i should declare myself a "boring person" .

I was sitting , thinking of stuffs that i shouldn't be thinking . I seriously don't want to leave .
If there was some people to accompany this long ride ...

Clock's ticking , 3.47am . And a second had just vanished .

I miss running . It has been months ever since i wore this shoe .

Was actually supposed to hit the gym with friends . But obviously i'm such a pig sleeping at 3 and waking up at noon all the time .

So , i was really getting listless and it would definitely be a bore if i carry on rotting at home . Since i'm not working and i don't know why i keep emphasizing "i'm not working" and i don't want to lead an unhealthy lifestyle by just literally sitting in front of the computer like some computer freaks or munching on foods and tibits which will induce fats.

I decided to hit the gym ,alone . It was really a nice weather at first so i thought of running at the stadium . But somehow , the weather changed for the worst . It was ridiculously hot . The drastic warmth of the heat wave . The intense heat of the sun took every chance to barbeque me . Alright , it was meant to be a sarcasm . =)

Fortunately , i got my sunnies with me . I had a GREAT workout . But i seldom frequent the gym . So , i'm thinking to make gym my second priority for my holidays rather than just L4d L4d L4d pool pool pool shopping shopping shopping rotting ~ . Ok , so i'm available for gym too !

Anyway , I checked my BMI from facebook and i got 18.65 . It indicates that i'm underweight and should eat more . HOW IS THAT FOR REAL ? nah

I got 29 days left . HOW ? I'm leaving on the 20th not on the 21st ! Double sadness

A day out with amirah pohchong eugene

Aww , i died . So basically , it was this map that we tried umpteen times but still couldn't make it . We ended this game by killing each other .
Before that , we went for a game of pool . Am i glad to say i beat pohchong once ? just once ..
Anyway , nina was there too . And oh i saw my brother playing L4D too . Cooool a not .
And now , because i have 33 days left .. i'm beginning to feel that sense of reluctance literally overwhleming me .
I want to make everyday a meaningful one . So i'm waiting for people to date me out . =D I know i'm a bit thick-skinned . But please understand , i have 33 days left . It would be a very lachrymose moment for me to leave those whom i don't want to leave .

It is kind of paradoxical when i talk like that , meaning ; i want it but i can't do it . Because i can't think for myself only , because i have 33 days left . So when a day just vanish like that , i can't help it but to feel .. bad and remourseful about .. that . Because eventually i have to say goodbye . =(
It was a tough choice though it suck to lie ..

Saying goodbye really hurts . Ok , sarcastic . i'm coming home 2 months later what , why so sad now .
So , i'm still waiting for a text . Oiee , where is all the jobless people !

Wonderful day with wenxuan amirah @ holland.village

My purpose of these two pictures is to show how much my teeth , after a year of visiting the orthodontist , looks like . It suck because when i smile gleefully , i mean showing off my teeth . It looks so disturbing lo . By judging from the side , it looks weird hur ~

Then , we passed by the library . There were so much memories , that intense period . I really miss studying then . Apparently , some people just asked me how to differentiate Cos^-5 .

I can't remember . So i gave the answer as -5Sin^-4 . Am i wrong ? or correct ?

Someone , please help me to answer this simplistic yet perplexing question .

Love A.math .

I refrained myself from logging in facebook , msn , youtube for a day . I even shut my phone for a day . I thought it was ok . That's what i'll be basically experiencing . That's really sad ..

Anyway , that day was the longest walk ever from jurong point to my house . We spent like more than a hour to reach my house. On the way , i cried a lot . I hate crying , but i was getting more emotional when each day is completed . But that that girl seems to act nonchalant about it , which aggravated the tense situation lo . I cried harder then
. It suck so much to have 35 days left , how i wish i could buy time then . Maybe i can tell my daddy i can go to poly first before going there .
Because there is 35 days left and i've ordered all my books already . Guess what , my school had already sent me a storybook and i had to finished it within the holiday and to write a reflection .

Because there is 35 days left , i really want to spent a day with each and everyone . So it is either you date me out or i date you out . But it seems like everyone is busy working and it will be so hard to do so . So ... where is all the jobless people ! Yes , i'm waiting .. still .

I think some may mistaken i'm migrating again , due to those emotional words inserted to this blog . I just like to be sarcastic so please understand . I'm coming back once every 2 month , and i'm returning on april's fool . And i'm not trying to fool you .

1) Somerset 313 - orchard
2) Charity
3)Vivocity
4)Juliana's birthday party
5) WEb-camming session

Forever 21 at Somerset was really a humongous one . 4 storey of apparels . That's like so awesome . You know , i was sad , i was suddenly overwhelmed with melancholy and i don't know why . I just grab some meaningless stuffs from F21 . I spent when i'm down-casted , but i didn't really spend much . Because i am jobless and pretty much out of cash soon .
I am facing a very tormenting situation, i don't know what i want . I let it go , and regretted . There are too much complications , if only there was one instead of more . Wouldn't have sacrificed so . Suck so much

nEBO's er charity for the youths .

So, we were in charge of publicity . Such as giving out flyers to create awareness and talking to people .

Obviously i got rejected many times . And i actually had to force a smile . Ok , stop complaining , think of the less fortunates .

Since that i'm not planning to work , I was thinking to do more charity work and shopping during my remaining days . Because that is what i can do . But something is still amiss and i don't know what .
I know i'm getting emotional . Very unusual of me . Really .

Spent an entertaining afternoon with them =)

Went job-seeking but window-shopped instead .

Juliana's Birthday party

Yesterday :
And you know , my self proclaimed "act cute" pose in front of this girl

She wanted to be my bear . Because i hug and kiss my bear . You think easy ah , work harder .

After her i actually webcammed with waikit till 3.30am. I rejected him at first but ok .. i was really bored . Very surprising but well, just to kill boredom . And his room ... messier than mine .

And i will be really bored everyday .

I'll post all my pictures soon . Like really .

I blog tomorrow also .

I got rejected today plentiful of times . It sucks so much to be rejected , and i realised it now . But for the sake of helping the less fortunate . I am willing to oblige.

I keep web camming with amirah now . I sibei act cute sia , can't stand myself either .

Ok , i don't want work anymore . No one wants me . Shall be a freeloader . Ask money from parent . Spoiled sia , i don't like it .

So , date me out anytime for Left4dead2 . Because i am currently available everyday until 21stjan . Very addicted to it now .

And i never had dinner today . Sucks so much . Facing extreme hunger

ttyl

It seems like all jobs preferred people who can commit for 3 months . Realistically , i know no one wants to employ anyone who can work for a month .
I'm getting fatigued each day , this whole holiday seems uninteresting and meaningless to me . It appalls me so much that i have to actually rot at home , sitting in front of the computer doing nothing and nothing .
It really appalls me .
While I just want to do something meaningful , it gives me no opportunity , leaving me thinking aimlessly in the mind . Ya la i'm very sarcastic . It seems to elicit misery to me .
You know i'm literally rotting at home and that feeling sucks so much . With my mum's deliberately incessant naggings , you know how much it sucks .
I admit that i'm very fickle-minded so it is no surprise that i always complain . I complains so much that people around me gets so irritated . But you know i can't stop complaining .
So please , i need to know how ardous a job can get so i can shut my mouth and stop complaining and to understand that money isn't easy to earn .
Going abroad studying makes me ponder if it is a right choice . You know how much sacrifices i have to make .
I think i would have to stop learning piano . I can actually sit for my grade 7 practical but now i have to actually give it up . This sucks . To think my passion has to end in 7 years , somehow .
My braces appointment has to end in 1 year .
Leaving my all friends would be an excrutiating torture . You know how much it sucks to be alone in a foreign country . Of cause i'll make new friends which is an obvious sight but it still sucks .

I'm really apologetic but this really sucks . I really hate to make people feel sorrowful but i got no choice .

Days passes so quickly . I'm getting soporific each day , literally lazing at home . While everyone has a job , i am at home , with nothing to do . While everyone wakes at at 7 in the morning , i wake up at 12 in the afternoon . This isn't the holilday i wanted . I need cash thus i need to work . Money definitely doesn't drop from the sky . Dad calculated my expenses this month . Shockingly it's a lot . Five figure digit , nah it was just my school fees for the half the term . That excludes my monthly expenses . I ain't born from some wealthy rich family , so i can't squander away money as and when i like .
Life isn't perfect . There are people rich pretty but stupid . Poor ugly but a genius at mind . Which one would eventually stands out the most then ? But there are some which posesses all the good qualities . Live with it , be satisfied . Life isn't perfect
Thus , i need a job , hopefully it can last me a month . Because i only have a month or so left . And of cause to get away from my monther's incessant naggings . She does it everyday , making me go insane each time she does that .

This sucks so muchzz

Yeeleng Poh

Sixteen , Listen to my daily rants
/nonsense/homeworks/complains/
stuff and such

Amira

Audrey

Fadhli

Geri

Hilary

Huiching

Jaymien

Jeremy

Juwika

Mooxin

Melissa

Nina

Pohchong

Pauline

Peiling

Sheila

Shugee

Wenxuan

Xiaorui

Zenda

ShoutMix chat widget
(:
don't have one?
get one from Cbox or Shoutmix

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

. (:
don't have one?
get one from Imeem or MyFlashFetish

July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009

This blogskin is proudly brought to you by Mrs. Chuck Bass, with a lil' help of Chili with the basecodes. Thanks to Enlaced for the pretty icons and Tumblr for the inspirations.
© All Rights Reserved